My life in a nutshell.

Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.

Me: *turns up music*

Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!

Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.

Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?

Me:

Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?

Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.

Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.

Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?

Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.

Lady cop: I can make that happen.

Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!

Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.

Entire train: *applauds*

me talking to little kids: oh hey man wow I like your shoes they light up! No way I wish I had some like that, I bet they make you run so fast!!

me talking to older people: I'm not really sure what it is I want to do with my life, but I figure that as long as I'm happy it can't be that bad

me talking to people my age: well howdily doodily my fellow young people, what's hip hop happening over here? I'm just off to inject a meth and listen to an MTV if you youngsters are 'down' also haha look at that lingo, golly gosh what a time to be alive

raybucho:

eruditetyro:

pretend

a trillion motherfucking dollars
bitch i will actively be gay for a year

raybucho:

eruditetyro:

pretend

a trillion motherfucking dollars

bitch i will actively be gay for a year

(via jackshappytrail)

‎Yes, please boycott Oreo for their support of Gay Rights. We’ll all appreciate you going on a diet. While you’re at it, please also throw away your iPod, iPhone, and iPad since Apple supports as well. Hopefully you have lots of clothes, because you’ll need to ditch your Levi’s and Nike’s too. Perhaps you bought them at … JC Penney’s or Sears? Sucks you’ll have to take them back … or actually, anything you wear from anywhere probably had a gay involved. Flying somewhere soon? Better not be on American, Delta, Southwest, or United…you’ll need a new ticket. Airline wasn’t mentioned? Just be sure your jet isn’t Boeing made. Don’t sleep at Marriott or Hilton (or any of their family brands) because you might catch the gay they support. That morning coffee from Starbucks will have to go as well, go ahead it replace it with a McCafe…oh wait, McDonald’s supports gay rights too. Hmm, do you clean with Tide, Gain, or Bounty? Use Duracell batteries, shave with Gillette, or use Fixodent? Brush with Crest, use Pantene, Scope, Tampax, Venus, or Old Spice products? Those are all gone too, stupid Proctor & Gamble supporting the gays. Damn, you’re using Internet Explorer or Crome to see Facebook and read this status? Download something else, Microsoft and Google show their Pride as well. Ah, but your drinks are safe. Coca-Cola, Pepsi, and Budweiser are on your side … if your side is on the right side of history since all three also support Gay Rights. Hopefully, you or your lawyer will never need in-depth research. Both LexisNexis and Westlaw, who together control the market, support Gay Rights. Drive that big, manly, Ford F350? It’s a “Friend of Dorothy” too, as it’s company Ford and General Motors also support the rights of all. So, do us all a favor, don’t take it all out on a festive cookie … just stay home and boycott everything.

cinderellawithachainsaw:

evannabadasslovegood:

xedgemodificationx:

snarkysloan:

this

image

On the bright side, you can still shop at Hobby Lobby!

(Source: monkaroo, via jackshappytrail)

ecaftraf:

I’m not sure how to dress for this weather.

ecaftraf:

I’m not sure how to dress for this weather.

(via jackshappytrail)

blaineyandersons:

i love being at disney world when it rains because the weak will leave and the strong will have five minute wait times

(Source: theshinydratini, via charlesxvvier)

plants-are-life:

Me after summer break. 

plants-are-life:

Me after summer break. 

(Source: saintkitten, via charlesxvvier)

awkward-lee:

Close, but no banana

awkward-lee:

Close, but no banana

(via charlesxvvier)

gerardwaythegay:

I’m guessing that emo smells like sweat and grease and sadness

gerardwaythegay:

I’m guessing that emo smells like sweat and grease and sadness

(via charlesxvvier)